Building a Wardrobe: Redo

Hello everyone! Who am I and why do I suddenly have things to write about again?! Quarantine and lots of downtime'll do that to ya. So today I wanted to do a bit of a rewind and look back at my Building a Wardrobe series (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4) that I made back in 2015, five years ago at the time of writing this. While I'm not going to take them down and completely rewrite them....there are a lot of points where I sigh deeply and utter the phrase "Oh you sweet, Summer child," while rereading them and I wanted to do somewhat of an updated recap to build on what I wrote then. Needless to say, I have a lot more experience in J-fashion and life in general than I did then and times be a-changing, so here's a bit of an update on those posts, all in the convenience of one (albeit long) post. Needless to say, if you haven't already, I'd recommend reading the original posts before this one.

So at the time of writing this, I am once again rebuilding my wardrobe, because my style has changed once again. However, this time I've done more research both into the process as well as myself and what I want. One of the more notable repetitions in my original post was budgeting, saving money, and overall not spending money. While this is an important factor to consider, it shouldn't be the main focus when planning out a wardrobe. If you can afford to buy 12 new pieces a month, great! If you can only afford a new piece every three months, also great! As long as you're aware of your budget, you can go through building your wardrobe as quickly or as slowly as you need to. That being said, this is the last time I'll be mentioning budgeting in this post.

Step 1: Maybe Don't Throw Everything Out
So at the time of writing the original articles, I was very much on a Marie Kondo fueled Decluttering high. And I made a lot of decisions I'd come to regret. While the KonMarie method in and of itself isn't necessarily bad, the mentality I had going in was. Rather than focusing on getting rid of pieces you don't deem necessary anymore, start by visualizing the style you want. Whether by writing down key details you like, making pinterest boards, or following people who's style you admire, figure out what you want and what you like. If you're going from tees and jeans to full on Kuro Gyaru, you may not even feel like you have anything to start with. That's fine, we all have to start somewhere. If you already have an established wardrobe and you want to add in a new style, great! This next part should be easier.

Step 2: Start to Define What You Want
Once you have the broad brush strokes of where you want to go, it's time to start defining. Take a look at what you currently have. Does any of it fit with your intended style? If not, this is where my thrift store try-on advice comes in handy. If you already have a color pallet that works for you and you know what sort of cuts and sizes you wear, you can start envisioning your wardrobe by creating wishlists or pulling pieces from your current wardrobe that you can use. If you're starting from Kmart and aiming for Kamikaze Girl levels of lolita burando, you can still look at the items you own and ask yourself what you like about each piece or if it's just there because running around naked is generally frowned upon. You may also want to take into consideration the difference in comfort levels. Lounging in tees and jeans or a simple dress is a lot more comfortable than lounging in three layers of petticoat, a frilly dress that you may or may not actually fit in, and twelve layers of bracelets, bobby pins, and bows. If comfort is a high priority for you, keep the clothes you're comfortable in and look at options that may be better suited to regular wear.

Step 3: Make a Plan for Yourself
One of the biggest differences between my previous wardrobe building and my current wardrobe building experiences has been how I've planned. This video from The Stitchess on Youtube has been a huge help for me. Rather than estimating how many of each item type I should buy, I've made myself a constantly updating table of item types and colors I want for the baseline of my wardrobe. Rather than just window shopping and impulse buying, I go into shopping with a plan. I know what I have in my wardrobe and what I'm lacking and I can build from there. Also, trying on the items you have, whether to wear out or just for practice, you can start to get an idea of where you might have gaps to fill in your wardrobe that you might want to prioritize. As an example, I have a black shirt with mesh detailing in my Larme wardrobe that I've worn a total of once in that style. I determined that it would look best paired with pink strapped dress on top as that's a common duo in many of the Larme snaps I've seen. Since I don't currently have such a dress, I've been keeping an eye out for one to purchase. All of the other pieces I currently have can be paired several different ways, so I'm less concerned with adding other basics in.

Step 4: Build With Confidence
Once you get the hang of things, you should be able to confidently go out and purchase items you want and need for your wardrobe. If you're delving into a whole new style, make sure to do your research on what pieces would best fit you and your style. Don't be affraid to experiment and try new things. I bought my first Liz Lisa OP the other day knowing I could very well be turning right around and selling it. I learned a lot from it about that brand's sizing and I never would have known that I can wear LL pieces if I hadn't taken that first step into the unknown. Likewise, I had a lot of trial and error with other pieces in the past that gave me a better idea of what measurements I should be looking for on different styles of clothing. One of the best ways to learn is through experience and you only get experience if you're willing to take slight risks. (That being said, don't buy from Millanoo, kids. ;) )

I hope you guys enjoyed this updated perspective. Let me know in the comments how you built your wardrobes!

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Why DIY When You Could Just Buy?

Hey everyone! You might be surprised to see me back with not just one, but now two posts after a very long hiatus, but hey, quarantine and boredom give you lots of time to think. ;) So today I wanted to talk a bit (okay, maybe a lot) about how Do it Yourself, or DIY, has changed over the last 10+ years, as well as people's perspectives, my own included. So let's get started!

First of all, I want to preface this saying I very much support DIY, but I also understand not everyone has the skill set, time, money, or general capability to make their own things. This post isn't meant to shame people who choose to DIY or those who are unable to DIY for whatever reason. We all have our own stories and I'm not here to judge or look down on people in different positions from myself. With that being said, let's get into the actual content here.

When I was a young lass (my father took me into the... Wait, getting off topic here) I was raised to be rather frugal and depend on myself to meet my demands where I could. I learned sewing and crochet from my parents sometime before I have solid memories and many other crafts have come fairly easily to me. (Not including chainmail, but that's a different story.) If I wanted a new doll or stuffed kitten dress, I made it with the plentiful fabric we had lying around from my parent's past projects. When I first started getting into anime and lolita fashion back in the early 2000s, I didn't have the money or resources to buy lolita clothes or cosplays from the wonderful land of Nippon. So I made do and made my own, even if they weren't the best quality. As I got older and my style started changing, as well as my disposable income, I learned how to order online, but my first thought was always "Oh, I could make that." So I'd buy fabric and thread or beads and ribbon and attempt to fashion my own clothing and accessories, looking up tutorials online where I needed to. Sometimes it worked, sometimes I spent my money on a learning experience instead of a completed item. Either way, I forged ahead, convinced that it'd be easier to make things than to buy them. And I know I'm not alone in that.

Many of us who've been into lolita or other J-fashion for years grew up in an age where the only way you could get Japanese brand was by having a friend who visited Japan or going there oneself. And times have changed. Gone are the days of making a JSK with a bedsheet because Baby the Stars Shine Bright doesn't ship to your country. Gone are the days of having to make your own accessories because you don't have access to the style you want. We live in a day and age where you can find and buy just about anything you could want from the comfort of your own home. So why DIY if you can just buy something for 5 bucks off Wish or Amazon?

Well, there's a lot of reasons, but here's a few I personally find myself making:

• For fun
• Internetphobia?
• It's cheaper
• Sustainability

DIY For the Fun of it

A lot of folks who choose to DIY do it for the fun of it. You take time to yourself, you get an enjoyable passtime, and even an end product! Even if none of the other variables I mentioned concern you, it can be relaxing and fulfilling making something for oneself or for others. And if you make a huge mess and don't end up with a useable end product? At least you tried and learned something in the process!

Wait, I Can Use the Internet for That?

So this might just be a me thing, but I find myself forgetting that all the pretty sparklies I see online are only seperated from me by a few clicks and shipping time. I tend to prioritize buying things in person that kinda generally sorta work over the things I actually like and want online because "this is cheaper," or "well I know this fits," or even just "hey, this could give me immediate gratification instead of waiting a month for the end result!" I'd like to think I'm not alone in this, but I'm so used to having to "make do" with what's available, I sometimes spend more money on things I eventually get rid of than I do on the thing I wanted in the first place. But wait, isn't DIY supposed to be an affordable option?

I Could Make That for Half the Cost!

...Or so we'd like to think when we see $500 dresses online and $50 necklaces. Is that really the case though? If you're a skilled crafter who has access to the same sorts of materials used in those "overpriced" items, maybe. But if you're a skilled crafter, you also recognize that cost usually has more meaning to it than just being an arbitrary price. It factors in the materials, the skilled labor and/or specialized machinery needed, the time spent making the item, and how many are being made. The unlined lolita dress you made with $2 a yard fabric from Joann's isn't going to compare to a $200 dress from Angelic Pretty. The $5 necklace you made isn't going to have the same quality and finishing touches and the $30 one from Liz Lisa. If you really can make an item of comprable quality to what you see online, chances are you'll end up spending a lot more money than the original would have cost as well a lot of your valuable time. If you're just making something for fun and you don't mind it looking as professional as the original item though, there's no real harm in buying a $5 bag of beads and some stretch cord and making lots of bracelets and necklaces for yourself. And if you have the skills to turn a bedsheet into a detailed lolita dress, then go for it! Just remember that not everything you see online can be made exactly the same in your living room for a lesser cost. But what about items that aren't expensive? Like that 20 pack of hairclips you saw on Wish for $2?

But is it Sustainable?

An emerging "trend" of sorts that's becoming more and more popular, especially among my generation and younger generations, is sustainability and ethically sourced products. Not to be overly political, but put simply by our favorite Science Guy, "The planet's on [effing] fire," and a lot of us want to do what we can to keep that from getting worse. Sustainable shopping and ethical buying decisions are sometimes more important than simply liking a product for many people. Those impossibly cheap items online? There's no telling what their quality will be until you get the actual item and if you're paying $5 for something that should cost $200, there's a lot more to worry about. As I mentioned before, items made by reputable brands tend to factor the cost of their workers that make the items into their price as well as material costs. So that low quality item you're purchasing could just as easily be made by a very low paid, possibly otherwise mistreated worker. And that's not even factoring in where the materials for that product came from.

So then, you may ask, what makes DIYing better than straight up buying something? Well, that's a tough question to answer. There's really no way to know where the materials you buy came from, especially if you're trying to save money by buying inexpensive materials. And if you buy quality materials from reputable manufacturers, it could end up costing you as much or more than buying the item in the first place. So how are we supposed to decide? Honestly, there's no easy answer. That's the real reason I wanted to write this post, to kinda vent my own frustrations and also give others the oportunity to see things from my perspective. In the short term, everything seems so complicated, but if we start making informed decisions now, maybe there can be less grey area in the future. And that's a start.

What are your guys's opinions? Do you tend to opt to DIY or do you choose to buy things already made instead? Let me know in the comments below!

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Lolita 52 Challenge: 3 Things I Wish I Was Told When I Was a New Lolita

Hello everyone! Today we're back with another Lolita 52 challenge topic: 3 things I wish I was told when I was a new Lolita. Let's go!




#1:Lolita in anime is different from Lolita in real life
 One of the main places I saw Lolita fashion outside of the Gothic & Lolita Bible was anime when I first started getting into the style. Because of this, I saw a lot more "Lolita style" rather than actual Lolita outfits. While many of the dresses I saw in animes were similar to some Old School styles, which at the time were more current than they are now, it took me a while to separate anime Lolita from actual Lolita mentally and come to accept the changes in the fashion as well as learn how to not look like a horrible ita.


#2: BODYLINE: YOU CAN BUY IT
 I really wish I'd been a bit more savvy about buying things online when I was getting into Lolita because I could have started building a decent wardrobe much sooner. I'm not sure exactly how long Bodyline's been shipping overseas and been decent quality, but judging from Princess Peachie's wardrobe tour, I'd hazard a guess that I would have been able to get some pieces a few years after I discovered Lolita. One of the things I wish I could have done is experiment more with my wardrobe in J-fashion during my mid-teens, so if I'd known how to order on Bodyline, I could potentially have a stronger wardrobe by this point like many of the Lolitas I admire.


#3: For the love of all that is good, DON'T BUY THOSE SHOES
 Yeah, I still feel really stupid about buying a pair of really clunky shoes that were three sizes too big for me at the thrift store thinking I could throw some lace and ribbons on them and have them be Lolita and magically fit me. Basically, I wish I could have told myself what would and wouldn't work for Lolita and prevent myself from making horrible fashion mistakes as well as wasting money. I wish I had had someone who could have showed me what good quality Lolita looked like, what nice lace felt like, and generally given me some more knowledge of what is good quality Lolita VS poor quality Lolita or things better suited to Lolita's earliest days.


Is there any advice you'd give your younger self about the style you currently wear? Let me know in the comments below!




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Relationship Advice From a Single Potato

Hey everyone! So in case you couldn't guess from the title of this post, I am single, and I'm going to be letting you all know about things I've learned from being in and out of relationships as well as single. First thigs first though, let me tell you what I know nothing about: Lasting, long-term relationships and long distance relationships. With that in mind, let me tell you what I've learned.


#1: It's never too late for your first boyfriend
 To be perfectly honest, I didn't have my first official boyfriend (both parties agreed we were dating) until I was 19. I'd had some mutual crushes and been on a few group dates previously, but I had never dated one person exclusively. I learned a lot from that relationship as well as subsequent relationships, but one of the main things I learned is that it doesn't matter if you're 14 or 35: You're never too old to start dating for the first time. Don't let yourself feel down because you aren't in a relationship and there's people younger than you going steady. There's no need to rush.


#2: Don't feel pressured to have a relationship
 It's pretty common for single people to see others in relationships in media and around them and feel like they have to be in one to fit in or feel happy. There's no reason to force a relationship just to have one though. While it's nice having someone else to care about and to care for you, it's better to stay single sometimes. When we rush into relationships to feel included, we can end up with harmful people or with someone we don't actually get along with. So don't force yourself. If you're single, enjoy your time with yourself. If you're in a relationship, don't feel the need to stay in it just for the sake of having a relationship. If things aren't working out, it's better to break it off and go your separate ways than stay unhappy.


#3: Get to know you
 I think one of the most important things I've learned relationship-wise is the importance of knowing and loving oneself before getting into a relationship. I've had a lot of jerks come through my life and a lot of potential dates missed because I didn't know or love myself that much. It's really hard to expect someone else to like you back if you don't even like yourself. Take your time being single and spend it getting to know yourself better. Write in a journal, talk to yourself, find out what you do and don't like. And once you've gotten to know yourself better, it'll be easier to accept yourself and find someone who will respect you rather than take advantage of you. Looking back at some of my previous relationships, I realize I was just looking for someone to like me in lieu of me liking myself and that a lot of them didn't have any respect for me. They just saw me as something easy to play with. Fortunately I stuck to my guns on some of my more important beliefs, but I still wish I'd realized my own worth instead of letting myself constantly get sold short.


 #4: Don't be afraid of short relationships
 So, the majority of my romantic relationships have been less than a month and I've dated quite a few guys in the past couple of years. A lot of people joke around and call me a "man eater" because of this, but ultimately, I know this isn't true. I'm still pretty new to dating and am learning more and more with each relationship. Some people find "the one" and start off with a lasting, long term relationship. Lucky them. Some of us have to test the waters out though and get to know ourselves as well as figure out what we want in a relationship. As I mentioned before, I didn't really have much self love back when I started dating, so I struggled finding someone to have a relationship with. These experiences have taught me more about myself than I could have learned on my own. Sometimes the negative things one ex has to say about you are things you really like about yourself. For example, one time I inadvertently ended a relationship by dumping a bunch of glitter on the guy I was dating when he fell asleep. (He would often come over to hang out and then just fall asleep on my chair when I wanted to have someone to talk to, so I had gotten pretty annoyed at this trend.) He later called me childish and said I needed to grow up. Thing is, I like the fact that I can still be a happy and giggly goofball despite having been through some difficult things. I'm pretty mature for my age (I grew up around older people, so I act more like them than someone my age), but that doesn't mean I don't like poking people for no apparent reason or getting giddy about something I find amusing. Heck, my mom has to kick my dad under the table when he won't stop making jokes at dinner sometimes and they're over 50. So, don't be afraid of short relationships. You can learn more about yourself from a grouchy ex than you might realize! And you can also learn more about what to avoid in relationships from them too.


I hope you all enjoyed my advice today! If you want to date, have fun doing so, just remember you should always be the most important person in your life. Don't let anyone else tell you you aren't worth it.


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Just Be Yourself

Hey everyone! So recently I've been going through a lot of things all in due process of growing up. And I've come to realize a lot of different things that have changed my life for the better, so I want to share some of these things with you guys. We only have one life, so let's learn to make the best of it.


#1: Don't Lie to Yourself
 Up until a few days ago, I've been lying to myself about certain aspects of my personality. I didn't want  to accept a part of me that I wasn't used to, so I decided to just kinda ignore it as much as possible. This isn't a healthy thing to do. Take the time to talk to yourself and get to know all sides of your personality. Intentionally hiding yourself from yourself and consequently others can lead to you feeling ashamed of yourself and possibly even make you hate yourself. You're stuck with you for your whole life, so don't lie to the most important person in your life: you.


#2: Write Down All Your Problems
 I, as I'm sure many of you do, have trouble expressing my problems and tend to let them build up until I have a breakdown. This isn't healthy. Take the time to sit down with a notebook (or carry one with you) and write down everything you can think of that's been bothering you, even the small stuff. I tend to empathize with others, so some of my worries aren't even my own problems. Something as simple as having sore muscles or a pimple can cause a lot more grief than it should if you don't realize that you're also dealing with homesickness, grief over a lost friend, or something else more serious like that. Write down everything and you'll soon find that a weight's been lifted from your shoulders. After all, knowing is half the battle.


#3: Take Time to Cry
 In today's busy world, it's hard to find time to fit everything we want to do into a day, much less a week. We can get stressed out and want to cry, but end up bottling it up inside so people don't think of us as a cry baby. But if we don't give ourselves time to cry in private, we could find ourselves breaking down in public at the slightest provocation. I work in an environment where professionalism is strongly emphasized, so having a breakdown at work is unacceptable for me. Because of this, I often have to put my emotions on the back burner, then by the time I get home I need to do some chores and head to bed. This causes me to wear down more easily, so there are days I just have to decide to head to bed earlier or take a longer shower so I can just spend some time crying. If you're having a bad morning, but still have to go to work, allow yourself to cry for as long as possible while you're getting ready and wait until the last minute to put your makeup on so it doesn't get ruined. Go to your car (or your room if it's close) and have a breakdown over lunch if you need to. Just make sure to drink plenty of water after so you don't get dehydrated.


#4: Don't be Ashamed to Call a Friend
 Sometimes I get so worried that I'll be a nuisance to my friends if I call them just to cry and talk about my problems that I end up suffering in silence. My advice is this: If they're your friends, they won't mind having you call for support. Sometimes we just need to talk to someone and get all our frustrations out, and good friends are always there to support you. Even if you have a therapist or other trained professional that you have regular appointments with, sometimes you can't discuss everything with them in the time you have. That's why you need to realize that your friends are there for you and you shouldn't feel bad calling them just to blow off some steam. I know a lot of my friends are comfortable talking to me about what's bothering them, so I shouldn't feel bad calling them when I need support. And neither should you.


I hope you all enjoyed today's topic! I've been having to learn a lot of things on my own since I'm far away from my family right now, so I hope that what I've learned can help people in similar situations. Stay strong, everyone!


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