Hello everyone! So I recently read a blog article about Lolita that was written by someone who has not done proper research into the style and was bashing it based on her very limited, very skewed perspective of it. This prompted me to make this article about some of the more common misconceptions with Lolita and the reality behind them.
Lolita... Isn't that a book?
First, let's talk about comparison of the Lolita style to the book Lolita. First of all, while they share a name, these two things are in no way related. I have watched and read interviews about the Lolita style over the course of many years and not once have I seen it compared to Lolita from the book. The orgins of the name are unconfirmed based on my researh, but if you look at it in the Romanized spelling of it's Japanese name, it's rorita. In Japanese, there's no real distinction between "r" and "l" sounds, so the Lolita style could easily have been called Rorita, Lorita, Rolita, or Lolita in English. Why it's Lolita, I'm unsure, but it is possible that particular r-to-l translation could have been chosen because an English speaker mistook the name of the style for the name of the book, or just automatically turned "r"s in Japanese into "l"s and it stuck. I couldn't say for sure. Back to the comparison of the Lolita style with the style of Lolita from the book. The Lolita style is based, not off of children's clothing as some might suggest, but the Victorian and Rococo styles of old. While not as closely resembling it as in days past, there are still some common elements such as petticoats or other padding under skirts to give them a distinct shape, use of lace detailing and other adornments on the dresses, and modesty. While the type of modesty is different ("Your ankles are showing! How preposterous!"), they still have this in common.
Are you trying to look like a doll?
Let's move on to the next presumption people make about Lolita: The dolly look. While many Lolitas tend to go for a dollier look, it's mainly due to wanting to look similar to a porcelain doll or Japanese doll dressed in a similar style since they tend to be dressed in Victorian-like clothes. I myself have a very pretty porcelain doll (you can see her here) with curly blonde hair, a fair complexion, and a pretty, lacy white dress that I have always loved the look of. While I may not intentionally try and copy her appearance, I do like to enhance my features in similar ways to hers. One big note on this: I "doll" myself up similar to this whether I'm in Lolita, Fairy Kei, or just a graphic tee and jeans sometimes. My interest in the dolly look is not related at all to my love for the Lolita fashion, they just overlap at times. Even if I sold off all of my Lolita clothing and never wore it again (or went back to when I didn't own any), I'd still be using my white eyeliner to make my eyes appear bigger and contouring to make my nose look smaller. Some people correlate Venus Angelic, or Venus Palermo, who on multiple occasions has worn the Lolita fashion, both in her videos and in interviews, with Lolita fashion, even though a lot of Lolitas I've known don't. I have followed Venus on YouTube and Facebook for quite a long time and in one of her older videos where she's showing some of her cute outfits (this one), she specifically comments in the description that the style she's wearing isn't really Lolita. It's a mix-up she calls Dollita (doll-Lolita) because it doesn't follow the "rules" of Lolita, but uses similar pieces and themes to achieve a dolly look.
Is this an ageplay thing? Are you trying to look like a little girl? Don't you know you could attract pedophiles?
One thing a good number of people seem to think is that Lolita is related to ageplay or attracting pedophiles. Again, I can not stress how incorrect this statement is. While Sweet Lolita, one of the most popular sub-styles in Lolita, can appear very little girl like with it's huge bows, pastel color, and sometimes toy related prints, there are MANY different sub-styles that have very different looks. Elegant Gothic Lolita, for example, makes use of long flowing skirts, black and dark colors, and a more refined appearance to create a mature look. Pirate Lolita is dressing to look like a pirate, not a child. Ouji Lolita takes a left turn and creates a more mature, masculine look rather than a youthful, feminine look. There is way more to Lolita than just the main Sweet, Classic, and Gothic sub-styles that everyone sees because they're the most common. And saying that it's also a porn thing because similar styles appear in porn is about the same as saying rabbits are a porn thing because there's Playboy Bunnies.
You'll never get a job looking like that! What do your parents think!? If my child dressed like that [insert overly concerned mother rant here].
One last thing I'd like to touch on here before I wrap things up. There are people who, due to the alternative dressing style, believe that people who wear Lolita will never get a job, have disapproving parents, and so on. First of all, let me say that for some people, "normal" clothing feels weird. I feel out of place sometimes if I try to dress like a fashionable normal person. It's weird. I don't feel like my usual self. I feel like I'm putting on a mask and saying "I'm normal guys, I swear!" Then when I put on Lolita, Gothic clothing, Fairy Kei, or some other alternative style, I feel normal, at ease, completely in my element. I don't care if people stare, because I feel good in my skin. I'm happy and free. But when I'm not in those styles, I feel awkward. Like I'm trying to be someone I'm not. It's not fun. If I put on a suit (which I do own a few) and walked around in it all day, I'd feel weird. I'm not alone in this. There are plenty of people who dress alternatively that would just feel out of place if they tried dressing in regular fashions. And while some of us like to dress in an alternative style all the time, some of us also like to dress alternatively only on occasion and are usually found in sweatpants, jeans, or just a slightly eccentric style on a day to day basis.
A typical response to the "How are you going to get a job looking like that!?" question that I've seen is "How do you think I afford this stuff?" For younger alternative dressers, such as teens, this can be a more practical question especially since the majority of their money is likely to come from family and parents. This is not to say that there aren't teens out there that go around mowing peoples lawns, walking dogs, or doing similar tasks to earn some extra money outside of their allowance (or lack there of) to buy clothing they enjoy. For many young adults and older alternative dressers, they already have some sort of income or are working through college so they can get a good job to provide an income. I personally already have a stable day job that I can progress in no matter what I wear (I dress differently for work though due to the nature of my job though) and I am able to take on side jobs such as commissions or sales as well if I so choose. The only real reason I keep a button up shirt and a suit around is in case I decide to go a different route with my life as showing up to a job interview in full on Lolita is not the best of ideas unless you're applying for a fashion related job. Even then, you want to dress appropriately for the type of job. However, I'd feel just as uncomfortable wearing a full suit with minimal makeup as a regular person might feel in a pink wig and dolly makeup.
You'll never be successful looking like that!
This, my friends, is where many people are wrong. Success is an individual thing and based off of what YOU want to do. Sure, having a college degree certainly helps get a regular job, but is that all success is? For some people, traveling the world and becoming essentially a gypsy of sorts is success. For others being able to get married and raise a family is success. Yet others might say that walking down that catwalk in the latest designs from talented designers is success. Success is up to you and your dreams. If you want to make a living off of your outward doll-like appearance because many find you inspirational, do it. If you want to travel and never settle down, do it. If you want to dominate the world and have total control over everyone, too bad. That's my job. All hail me and go back to utilizing your free, high speed internet and cable. (Someday....)
Enjoy what you love, and don't let others tell you it's wrong because they have different interests and perspectives on life. You are ultimately responsible for you and if you aren't happy it's up to you to decide how you want to pursue that.
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