Saturday, September 19, 2015

Relationship Advice From a Single Potato

Hey everyone! So in case you couldn't guess from the title of this post, I am single, and I'm going to be letting you all know about things I've learned from being in and out of relationships as well as single. First thigs first though, let me tell you what I know nothing about: Lasting, long-term relationships and long distance relationships. With that in mind, let me tell you what I've learned.


#1: It's never too late for your first boyfriend
 To be perfectly honest, I didn't have my first official boyfriend (both parties agreed we were dating) until I was 19. I'd had some mutual crushes and been on a few group dates previously, but I had never dated one person exclusively. I learned a lot from that relationship as well as subsequent relationships, but one of the main things I learned is that it doesn't matter if you're 14 or 35: You're never too old to start dating for the first time. Don't let yourself feel down because you aren't in a relationship and there's people younger than you going steady. There's no need to rush.


#2: Don't feel pressured to have a relationship
 It's pretty common for single people to see others in relationships in media and around them and feel like they have to be in one to fit in or feel happy. There's no reason to force a relationship just to have one though. While it's nice having someone else to care about and to care for you, it's better to stay single sometimes. When we rush into relationships to feel included, we can end up with harmful people or with someone we don't actually get along with. So don't force yourself. If you're single, enjoy your time with yourself. If you're in a relationship, don't feel the need to stay in it just for the sake of having a relationship. If things aren't working out, it's better to break it off and go your separate ways than stay unhappy.


#3: Get to know you
 I think one of the most important things I've learned relationship-wise is the importance of knowing and loving oneself before getting into a relationship. I've had a lot of jerks come through my life and a lot of potential dates missed because I didn't know or love myself that much. It's really hard to expect someone else to like you back if you don't even like yourself. Take your time being single and spend it getting to know yourself better. Write in a journal, talk to yourself, find out what you do and don't like. And once you've gotten to know yourself better, it'll be easier to accept yourself and find someone who will respect you rather than take advantage of you. Looking back at some of my previous relationships, I realize I was just looking for someone to like me in lieu of me liking myself and that a lot of them didn't have any respect for me. They just saw me as something easy to play with. Fortunately I stuck to my guns on some of my more important beliefs, but I still wish I'd realized my own worth instead of letting myself constantly get sold short.


 #4: Don't be afraid of short relationships
 So, the majority of my romantic relationships have been less than a month and I've dated quite a few guys in the past couple of years. A lot of people joke around and call me a "man eater" because of this, but ultimately, I know this isn't true. I'm still pretty new to dating and am learning more and more with each relationship. Some people find "the one" and start off with a lasting, long term relationship. Lucky them. Some of us have to test the waters out though and get to know ourselves as well as figure out what we want in a relationship. As I mentioned before, I didn't really have much self love back when I started dating, so I struggled finding someone to have a relationship with. These experiences have taught me more about myself than I could have learned on my own. Sometimes the negative things one ex has to say about you are things you really like about yourself. For example, one time I inadvertently ended a relationship by dumping a bunch of glitter on the guy I was dating when he fell asleep. (He would often come over to hang out and then just fall asleep on my chair when I wanted to have someone to talk to, so I had gotten pretty annoyed at this trend.) He later called me childish and said I needed to grow up. Thing is, I like the fact that I can still be a happy and giggly goofball despite having been through some difficult things. I'm pretty mature for my age (I grew up around older people, so I act more like them than someone my age), but that doesn't mean I don't like poking people for no apparent reason or getting giddy about something I find amusing. Heck, my mom has to kick my dad under the table when he won't stop making jokes at dinner sometimes and they're over 50. So, don't be afraid of short relationships. You can learn more about yourself from a grouchy ex than you might realize! And you can also learn more about what to avoid in relationships from them too.


I hope you all enjoyed my advice today! If you want to date, have fun doing so, just remember you should always be the most important person in your life. Don't let anyone else tell you you aren't worth it.


Check out my Facebook: facebook.com/CelesteChoCho
Peruse my wares: animelolitacouture.storenvy.com
Stalk my (rarely updated) Twitter: @animlolicouture

No comments:

Post a Comment